just by doing this...
only made everything worse.
it will never heal now...
im more afraid.
ive lost all hopes.
everythings the same.
it'll never change.
history has repeated itself.
now nothing can save it.
i think
you.
you need help.
you need to see a doctor.
you need to get healed.
lies.all lies.but i know.
when will it end?
i cannot go through this.
not now.
not next time.
never should i put up with this.
fooled.
fooled all the time.
when will it stop?
yes.
insanity.
yes.
vulgarities.
yes.
the explosive response.
all i do is hide.
hide.
pray.
pray that it will all go away.
it's just a dream.
i tell myself.
its just a dream.
scolded.
scolded stupid.
stupid me.
why.
why?
i dont know...
i dont know...
i have to be strong.
i've forgiven.
not once,
not twice.
but everytime.
should i stop?
should i be stronger?
should it all end here?
stupid.
very stupid.
only when your young.
all is fine.
all is acceptable.
but.
im no longer young.
why do i have to take this?
why do i have to take this from u ?
thinking.
always thinking.
past.
present.
future.
im afraid.
im really afraid.
everythings going all wrong.
will it?
will it not?
redeem yourself.
or repeat your mistake.
one can only take so much.
i've given so much.
so, so much...
shouting.
pulling.
disgracing.
cursing.
swearing.
threatening
made public.
it never ends..
it never will.
everyday is high risk day.
dont know when.
dont know how.
pray..
always praying...
always waiting...
always hoping...
that things,
will eventually turn out better.
that another day is a new day.
that you will
eventually
grow up.
understand.
and be a man.
always hoped.
always did.
but now.
my mind is a blank.
you've showed me what you are.
what you have always been doing.
and what you are capable of.
actions.
words.
attitude.
all end up with one story.
the one story.
that all has expected.
but i,
i did not want that.
i tried.
i really tried.
but this time.
its all too true to believe.
how should i think ?
how should i act?
what should i believe?
i dont know...
i do not know...
im tired...
im really tired...
it's a little too much for me...
its you.
you.
who initiated.
not i .
but i went along with it.
you gave up...
and so will i ...
LaLaLa & it ends here~ 1:22 PM