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~Lademigarçon~
The nick's Joyyodda!
one of a kind!
& no one can find,
any kid who will be
just exactly like MEE xD
I turn a year younger every 8 Jan ;P
Currently enjoyin the sugar life of 19!
LIVELIFELOVELIFE ♥
Cause, life's easy as peach ♥
joyyodda@hotmail.com



my nuffy! Make me rich!
help click click! merci! :D



By: TwitterButtons.com






  • Selfish thoughts

  • These simple things.

  • We almost lost it

  • I should have known. In fact i always have known.

  • You hurt my pride

  • Another toss of the coin

  • I need a distraction.

  • Internal battle.

  • We're not broken, just bent.

  • Will you.

  • ::memories::

    Thursday, April 26, 2012
    Life starts now.

    hey blogger!

    wow, it has been forever since i last blogged. 
    i couldnt even recognize blogger's new layout. 

    anyway, school has already started for me, and for those who don't already know, i enrolled into sp's school of design. 
    & i actually enjoy going to school. 

    well apart from the workload, everything else is nice about sp.
    mmmmm maybe not everything hahaha 

    i am looking forward to every school day actually. 
    just hope i can keep this positivity up!

    my only issue is sleep deprivation. hahahah 
    the school should really cut us year ones some slack :/

    anyway this is just a short post to let you readers out there know that i am still alive and kicking! hahah
    its about time i turn in. 

    will update again soon !



    goodnight,goodbye!

    This life dont last forever... LaLaLa & it ends here~ 11:33 AM

    Monday, April 9, 2012
    In time, i'll know how you'd put this. but till then.

    I don't expect neither am i asking for an apology from you.
    I just wish you knew, and could tell me what you were actually sorry for.

    I don't expect, neither am i asking you to call me consecutively for 20 times.
    Instead, i just wish you'd try to contact me every now and then in the day, and not just trying before you sleep.
    I wish you'd just drop me messages anyway..
    Not to write on about yourself.. or press on me further.. or even to remind me of the suspending issue between us.
    but just simple messages, such as asking about how i am doing. to remind me to eat, or to rest early.

    I may not be willing to pick up your call, but i will still read what you have to say.
    I wish you'd try to talk me out of it.

    But silly me.
    what am i expecting anyway..

    Photobucket

    This life dont last forever... LaLaLa & it ends here~ 9:51 AM

    Sunday, April 8, 2012
    All this but bull. Loosing myself.


    I am upset that you don't know what is going on.
    I am sad that I'm almost close to loosing it and you don't even realize.
    I am disappointed that you don't even try to understand and consider at my point but instead, go on more about yourself.
    It's all about you.
    So, what about me? when will i come into the picture?
    How far can i live with something like this.
    Is it so hard to be more letting, more forgiving and less calculative in a relationship?

    You can't throw me away and break me when you're mad. and only come to me tell me you miss me and you'll be there for me when you're better.
    I have feelings too, even more so when i'm just a girl, who needs to also feel fought for, protected, and wanted.
    My soul is broken. my heartaches for how you've treated me. I am alone in this.
    When will you ever see what i am doing for this relationship?
    When will you ever realize and acknowledge that i've been making the effort.
    When will you give me the treatment that i've been trying to give you too?
    I don't want to lose all the faith i have in you, in us.
    I've lost it before, and i am soon loosing it again. and this time, im afraid i might not wish to listen anymore.
    I am tired and mentally drained, i don't know what else i should do.
    I don't wish that things would turn out to the point where my parents would stop me from being together with you.
    If that day ever comes, please don't tell me you didn't get the chance to prove anything..
    I wished we'd appreciated each other while we had the chance to.
    Same goes to the faith and believe i have for us.
    I love you. and it's because i do, it hurts so bad.
    Knowing that this relationship isn't going where i wish it would.
    What have i done wrong, why is this so hard?
    Or is it just me.
    Sigh...
    Why do i feel so alone when im with you.

    Please don't tell me you wanna be with me when you wished you deserved better.
    Please don't tell me that your hands are there for me when it's folded most of the time i need it.
    Please don't tell me you'll be there to hug me when every time i need one, you give me a cold shoulder.
    Please don't tell me that i can share everything with you, when you don't even start listening.
    Please don't tell me that the last thing you want is to see me cry when i'm crying all because of you.
    Please don't tell me that you'll be there to comfort me when you don't even wipe away my tears.
    Please don't tell me, to love is to give, when you're there calculating about what you get in return.
    Please don't tell me you miss me, when you didn't appreciate the time while i was with you.
    Please don't tell me you need me, when you turn me away when i am there.
    Please don't tell me you care for me when all you do is flip back on my words.
    Please don't tell me you love me, when u intend to hurt me anyway.

    Don't just tell me you're here for me, BE HERE FOR ME.

    I can't take how one moment you're all lovey to me, strong, full of faith, believe , that secure feeling you give me and make me realize that hey, i should fight for this relationship because you are for keeps.
    I go all out willing to change, to fight for us to wanna be with you.
    but only to find out that it is all short lived.
    This has happened too many times.
    We fight, we argue, we lose it and we're right back at square one. making me doubt myself and my faith and believe in us.
    Not only don't i get a reassurance from you, i get a listening in the end with fingers pointing right back at me.
    Unconsidered and lonely is how i feel lately.
    Please don't wake up the next day all fine and that you wish i was safe, that you miss me, that you couldn't sleep.
    I wished you knew. I wished you'd realize.
    I just want somebody to appreciate me for my efforts.
    I am, just a girl.

    I am tired from upholding an image to everyone but myself.
    I am tired from protecting you, protecting us, but myself.
    I am tired of considering your feelings, and neglecting my own.
    I can't do this alone.
    I need you to do this with me.
    I am at my breaking point..
    can you even tell..?

    I am only human. i cant fall and instantly wake up and feel better.
    I need time to recover too.
    I am hurt and upset because of what happened and how you chose to treat me.
    I honestly don't see what i have done wrong to ever deserve this from you.

    I am here being a sober while you're fine and getting on your day.
    Thinking that everything is fine.
    Have i ever crossed your mind..
    Have you ever thought about how i am feeling right now..
    Sigh.
    I am so confused and lost.
    Please, somebody tell me what i should do.

    This life dont last forever... LaLaLa & it ends here~ 9:31 PM