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(ignore part 1 if you wanna)
well hey all.
today .. i found out the worse news of my life.
i was this close to dying.
i couldnt take it.
i didnt wanna do anything. but lock myself up to cry . COLLASPE maybe.
lies. i believed them over and over again .
how he felt about me ? its total bullshit.
just these short few weeks after break up. & he likes another girl which happen to be one of my good friends...
BIG BLOW. hell yeah.
no more going sentosa tgt after 2 yrs.
no more hangin out at your place.
no more gathering have fun .
no more of alot of things.
DEVASTATED. how all these could just vanish JUST LIKE THT~
i hid in the toilet for a few minutes to let it out. after hearing about it.
didnt want my parents to see me in this sobber state
held it together to make sure i passed dinner with a SMILE on my face.
i felt so small . so pressured. i quickly wanted to pass dinner. but i didnt wanna waste the nice dinner my family prepared.
then somehow. i opened up to my family about it.
and they really supported me.
told them about it. and they gave me thier advice and comfort. supportin words.
in these 17 yrs. i hv nv heard them say anything like this to me.
i told them how i heard about it. and wad i actually planned to do . hold it in till after dinner and their show... and only let it out when im alone in my room tonight.
and my dad said.... '' THEN WE WONT END OUR SHOW THEN . WE WATCH TILL TML. THEN U WON EMO LIAO ''
thts the sweestest thing he said to me...
now come to think of it. WHY DO I STILL GET MAD AT HIM .
love my parents.
im so contrdicting.
OH MAN. WAD AM I GONNA DO IN THE NIGHTS TO COME ?
i seeee cold and wet pillow nights ahead of me.
SIGHH.
but this may be a good thing ? forced to give up.
cause i hv this feeling of some HATE. makes me tht much stronger to wanna forget.
i hope i wont go soft on him anymore...
i can tell ... tht he really wants to go against me.... so be it.
JOYYODDAAAAA. ITS ABOUT TIME YOU REALLY FORGET AND MOVE ON . HE'S NO LONGER THT GUY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH 2 YRS AGO. HE'S HEART WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL THE MOMENT YOU LEFT SINGAPORE.
so just FUCKIN DROP EVERYTHING YOU HAD WITH HIM
URGH !!! tht thought is so OUCH. ==
fuck this shit. fuck my situation . fuck this life (for this period only ) fuck ALL OF IT.
SIGH ! everything's gonna be alright ? i'll get over it . i know i will...ITS TIME TO REMOVE THT RING OFF MY FINGER . *GONE*
(only ring tht nv left my finger .. hopin tht one day a miracle can happen )
*PIFFF* *GONE*
WELL ENOUGH OF EMO SHIT. I WILL LOOK AHEAD. congrats on finding love so soon. take care. good bye love.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(part 2) my normal day post.
kinda no mood tough. but i wanna CONVINCE MYSELF . THT IM BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM. * =( fk he said he's the BEST without me *
AHHHH ANYWAYS~
today is saturday....
oh yeah . gotta say sorry to the ppl tht got rejected by me cause of the mood. aaron, wen jie, JIA.
forgive me.
UM saturday.
went to flea market walked for 3 hrs. holy. bought alot of things. from clothed to curtains to garden tools.
(pics taken b4 i FOUND OUT THT HAPPENING NEWS.. so i look kinda happy and OK == )
saturday/sunday market :
bought alot of things...
ALOT. jacket.. boots.. curtains....
then turned over to some auchuan market.
i didnt wanna walk so i bunked in the car...
KANA BAKED ALIVE
killed time with my ipod !
its a life saverrr ! MUSIC MUSIC IS MY LIFE !!
well then went around here and there and headed home about 5 or 6 ?
then decided to drop by tht place nearby our house for a walk?
tht picnic point on holy grounds. tht place.
tht time we went looked something like this ? high tide :
and today ! its like this : low tide :
its like sand ... but future out its like MUD .
earthworm shit
guy diggin for worms (if you click to enlarge you can see one red one )
yepp some pics.
then came back home. and HEARD OUT THE NEWS...
sian emo emo ...
mentioned above the whole process.
thought about it. cooled and calmed down
and eventually enjoyed my dinner.
(still pretty affected by it. but had to smile for my parents. dun wanna spoil the special dinner in the yard)
here some pics.
and yepp thts about all .
no time le...
and im feeelin so fkin emo once again .
SIGH.
hey pillow... here i come....
ta.
LaLaLa & it ends here~ 12:00 PM